It's Wrong for Me to Love You Part 2 Read online

  It’s Wrong for Me to Love You

  Part 2:

  Renaissance Collection

  Krystal Armstead

  www.urbanbooks.net

  All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1 - Reaction

  Chapter 2 - Caught

  Chapter 3 - Jealous

  Chapter 4 - The Checkup

  Chapter 5 - The Visit

  Chapter 6 - Can’t Find the Words

  Chapter 7 - The Breakup

  Chapter 8 - The Dance

  Chapter 9 - No Him without Her

  Chapter 10 - The Key to His Heart

  Chapter 11 - Cheers

  Chapter 12 - My Fairy Tale Doesn’t Exist

  Chapter 13 - End of the Road

  Urban Books, LLC

  300 Farmingdale Road, NY-Route 109

  Farmingdale, NY 11735

  It’s Wrong for Me to Love You Part 2:

  Renaissance Collection

  Copyright © 2017 Krystal Armstead

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without prior consent of the Publisher, except brief quotes used in reviews.

  ISBN: 978-1-62286-607-6

  This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents is entirely coincidental.

  Distributed by Kensington Publishing Corp.

  Submit orders to:

  Customer Service

  400 Hahn Road

  Westminster, MD 21157-4627

  Phone: 1-800-733-3000

  Fax: 1-800-659-2436

  Acknowledgments

  Of course, I have to thank my homie, Racquel Williams, for taking me under her wing. Without her, none of this would have been possible. When she told me that Carl Weber (thank you, Carl Weber) was picking up a few of my books, I cried tears of joy. This is my moment, and best believe, I’m gonna take it. Third contract and counting. You’re stuck with me foreva (in my Cardi B voice).

  I also give thanks to Robin Watkins for keeping my spirits up when I want to give up. There are days when I don’t want to get out of bed, when I’m just ready to give it all up and throw in the towel. But then, Robin curses me out, and I have no choice but to keep going. I appreciate ya, homie, for giving me that push that I need.

  I can’t forget about my homies in my reading group, Krystal’s Motivation. Michelle Neal, Mesha Turner, Elysia McKnight, Octavia Carter, Glenda Daniel, Nicki Ervin, Kasey Smith, Monique Franklin, Fallon Hampton—these are my motivators. There have been days where I was too sick to get out of bed. One of them would message me on Facebook or text my phone, asking me, “Where the hell is my book, Krystal?” Even when I feel like giving up, even when I’m crying my eyes out over the daily stresses in my life, this crew always manages to put a smile on my face. I appreciate you all. There are too many to name, but just know I appreciate the love.

  Thanks to my mother and father, Jennifer and Conrad Artis, Jr.

  I’d like to thank my cousins Latrese Washington, even though she has “deemed me uncousined” a few times. Muah. Love you, cuz.

  This book is also for my four beautiful children, Jada, Adrian, Jordan, and Angel. A life without you four is not worth living. This book is also for my beautiful stepchildren, Jamie, Jasmine, Anglie, and Little James. I love you all like you are my own. Never forget that.

  And last but definitely not least, my husband, my jerk, my asshole James. You gave me just the frustration that I needed to keep writing. Appreciate that, I really do.

  Thank you all for your support. Thank you, God, for the opportunity. A’ight, y’all, let’s do this again!

  Chapter 1

  Reaction

  Charlene

  You already know I wanted to beat the fuck out of Ne’Vaeh’s ass when that receipt fell out of Aaron’s jacket pocket. I didn’t give a fuck about Karma’s bitch ass. All I cared about was the fact that my so-called best friend was doing something to have my man buy her a dress that cost damn near $400. The way he touched her, the way he held her, the way he looked at her, and the way she looked at him at her birthday party let me know that something was going on. I didn’t need to see the receipt for the dress to let me know that they were fuckin’.

  I called Aaron for hours after he left the party. My girls were in the club, dancing, having a good ol’ time. Where the fuck was I? Outside the club, blowing up Aaron’s phone, cursing him out on his voice mail.

  I screamed aloud, shoving my cell phone in my purse after calling the phone about fifty times within a fifteen-minute period. It was about 3:15 in the morning. I should have been home, asleep in Aaron’s arms. Instead, I was up calling and looking for him . . . when I already knew where he was.

  “Shorty, what you doin’ out here?” I heard a familiar voice over my shoulder.

  I turned around to see Jamie walking toward me, dressed in a totally different outfit than he was dressed in a few hours earlier. I rolled my eyes. “Oh my goodness, Jamie—you gotta wear a different outfit to each place you go to? You go to the store in one outfit, you go the gas station in another outfit, and you go to the bathroom in another outfit. Arrogant and ghetto-fabulous as a muthafucka.” I shook my head.

  Jamie grinned at me. “What—you mad because you can’t afford to do shit like this unless your parents pay for it for you?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever, Jamie. I don’t have time for your shit tonight, okay? I have better things to do than stand here and go back and forth with you. Go on now. Get!”

  Jamie looked at me. “What better thangs? Calling your man, seeing which hotel he’s at with your best friend?”

  I looked at him. “What are you talking about?”

  Jamie took a pack of Newports out of his pocket. “Yeah, shorty, one of my niggas said he saw your boy at a party at the Marriott Hotel in Alexandria, Virginia. That was about 11:00. Said they seen him there with this cute li’l brown-skinned chick.”

  I shook my head, eyes watering. “Jamie, Ne’Vaeh isn’t the only ‘cute li’l brown-skinned chick’ in the world, okay?”

  Jamie looked at me. He laughed a little. “Wearing a sexy, tight, Coogi dress?”

  I folded my arms. I really didn’t want to hear any more. “Jamie, look, I don’t really wanna be hearing all of this shit, okay? It’s bad enough that I had to find the receipt to that fuckin’ dress in Aaron’s pocket, but now I have to hear that the muthafucka took her to a party at a fuckin’ hotel? What time did they leave the hotel?”

  Jamie shook his head, lighting his cigarette. “They didn’t. Dude said they got a room there. A fuckin’ suite.”

  My eyes immediately were swollen with tears. “Oh my God.” I covered my mouth, tears sliding down my face. “How—how could they do this to me, Jamie? Jamie, I love him. I changed who I was for him. I never loved anybody like I love him. I can’t take this shit. I won’t take this shit.” I took my keys from my purse.

  Jamie grabbed my arm. “Shorty, what are you doing?”

  I pulled away from him, pushing him off me. “What am I doing? Are you seriously asking me that shit? I am about to go beat a bitch’s ass. She has no right to fuck with my man.”

  Jamie’s eyes searched my face. “She doesn’t?”

  I folded my arms across my chest. “What me and you did ain’t got shit to do with her. She’s old news to you, Jamie. The only reason why you and I even slept together
is that I needed to get laid. Aaron wasn’t touchin’ me, kissin’ me, fuckin’ me, lookin’ at me, holdin’ me—doing nothing to me for months.”

  Jamie scoffed, nodding his head. “Oh, okay. But you weren’t using me, huh? ’Cause that sure as hell is what it sounds like, Charlie.”

  I shook my head. “No, I wasn’t using you. You really came through for me; I needed you.”

  He shrugged. “Well, shorty thinks she needs him too.”

  “This can’t be happening to me!” I screamed out. “He’s gonna leave me for her, Jamie!”

  Jamie looked at me, shaking his head. “Nah, shorty, your boy must just be goin’ through somethin’. You were goin’ through some shit when you slept with me. What makes you think Aaron isn’t goin’ through it too? I’m not sayin’ what he’s doing isn’t wrong, shorty. All I’m sayin’ is people go through thangs. My girl got tired of my shit and broke up with me a few weeks ago. She said I had too many hoes. I told shorty from jump that I wasn’t ready to settle down. There really is no point in fallin’ in love with a nigga like me. Told shorty from the start that I was no good.”

  I just looked at him. “Jamie, what the fuck does that have to do with me?”

  “I’m sure you saw some sign in the beginning that Aaron was feeling your girl, and you just decided to ignore it. He ignored it too, obviously. Must have been something you said or done to make dude decide to holla at your girl now, some three years later.” Jamie exhaled smoke from his nose.

  I looked at him. I wanted to shove that fuckin’ cigarette down his throat . . . until I actually thought about what he said. Aaron asked me what I thought about marriage. Without even thinking, I shut the boy down, telling him that marrying him was the last thing on my mind. That was only because I was pregnant with Jamie’s baby.

  I looked up at Jamie. I wanted to tell him about the baby, but I couldn’t. I wanted Aaron. I needed Aaron. I loved him. Yes, I was attracted to Jamie. Who wouldn’t be? He was beautiful, he was sexy, he was fine, he was charismatic, and he was amazing. My heart was broken because I let my feelings for Aaron go unspoken. I never really told him how I felt about him. I never really told him how much I loved him, and because of that, he lost interest in me and found it in Ne’Vaeh. He called her “Heaven.” He avoided her on every occasion, probably because he was trying to suppress his feelings for her. I’d made a mistake that I couldn’t take back.

  “Well,” I sighed, “I think he was thinking of proposing to me. I blew it when he asked me what I thought about marriage.”

  Jamie exhaled smoke through his nose. “What did you say?”

  I looked at him. “I laughed in his face.”

  Jamie laughed a little to himself. “Why did you laugh?”

  I shrugged. “I guess I was in shock that he even brought the topic up. He’d never talked to me about getting married. We had just started having sex again after not having sex for months, Jamie. He’d finally started touching me again. He’d finally started kissing me again. He finally started holding me at night again. When he asked me how I felt about spending the rest of my life with somebody, I guess I felt guilty because I knew that I slept with you.”

  Jamie’s eyes searched my face. He flicked his cigarette into the street. “Yeah, shorty, love will have you feeling all types of ways. That’s the reason why I make it known off the gate that if you’re looking for love from me, you might as well make it easy and leave, shorty.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You talk all that good talk when you’re with a female, and you expect her not to feel anything for you? Jamie, you’re amazing. You can’t tell me that you didn’t feel anything when you saw Ne’Vaeh dancing with Aaron.”

  Jamie just looked at me, hands in his pockets.

  “You use other women to suppress the feelings that you have for Ne’Vaeh.” I glared at him. “You used me, Jamie, and you know it.”

  “The same way you used me to alleviate the pain you felt from your boy neglecting you?” Jamie’s eyes searched mine.

  “Jamie, I just told you that I didn’t use you,” I exclaimed. “Yes, I wanted to get laid, I’ll admit, but no one has ever touched me the way you did. I love Aaron, but everything that you do, it feels like making love, Jamie. You know what to do, what to say, what a girl wants, what a girl needs. You know the shit you do drives a girl crazy. Like right now, I was out here, minding my own business, trying to find out where my man is, and you got me here thinking about sex.”

  Jamie grinned a little. “I’m just trying to get you to really think about what you’re thinking about doing to your best friend, shorty. What she’s doing with your boyfriend is fucked up, true, but you can’t act like your shit doesn’t stink as bad as hers does. You wanted your boy, you should have told him. You were too busy, you were too pretty, you were too popular, you were too independent, you were too comfortable, and you were too proud to tell the dude how you felt about him a long time ago. You can’t blame this entire situation on him, shorty. I think you both have some talking to do. Obviously, it’s not happening tonight, so you might as well take your ass home.”

  My lips trembled. I stood there, arms folded across my chest, hair blowing in the wind. I was really hurting. There was no telling when Aaron was going to go back to his apartment. He was avoiding me. It was almost four in the morning. I knew he was in bed with her, probably just finished fuckin’. He was holding her, kissing her, running his fingers through her hair—all the things he used to do to me when we first met.

  Jamie watched me jiggling my car keys in my hand. “You takin’ me home with you or nah?”

  I looked at him, heart jumping in my chest. “I thought me and you discussed this back in August, when I confronted your ass at that hotel?”

  Jamie grinned. “After a night like this, wouldn’t you like some company? I know what you saw tonight fucked your world up, shorty.”

  I knew he was just as mad as I was about the situation. He hated seeing Aaron with Ne’Vaeh, though Jamie was better at covering up his feelings than I was. “What do you think he’s doing to her, Jamie?” My eyes searched his.

  Jamie just looked at me. “Probably the same things that I wanna do to you.”

  I shook my head, looking up at him. “He’s making love to her, Jamie. You don’t make love, remember? ‘No love’ is what you make. Jamie, I need my man back.” I started crying.

  Jamie sighed. My depression was depressing him. He took out another cigarette. “Shorty, you and I already had this discussion months ago. I told you to leave dude alone, but you decided to stay anyway.”

  “So, I brought this shit on myself?” I exclaimed.

  He shook his head. “Nah, but you could have avoided it. You stayed with dude when you knew neither one of y’all were happy. You knew he would eventually go looking for whatever he felt he wasn’t getting from you. Now he found it in your best friend. And I know that shit’s eating you up right now.”

  Depressed, I said, “I don’t even know what to say, Jamie.”

  Jamie held my hand. “Let’s get outta here. My car is at my aunt’s crib. I caught a ride with my homie. Just take me to your crib so I can get some sleep, yo. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to. I haven’t slept in a few days. Been up partying; I just need a break.”

  I looked up at him, drying my tears. What damage could have been done that wasn’t already done?

  * * *

  I drove him to my two-bedroom apartment in Baltimore. He made himself right at home on my beige sofa. He took off his jacket and kicked off his shoes.

  “Did you want something to drink?” I walked into the kitchen, tossing my keys on the granite countertop.

  “Nah, I’m good. Man, shorty, you gotta nice li’l place here.” Jamie laughed a little to himself.

  “Well, it’s no mansion in southern Maryland, but it is comfortable, and I paid for it myself, without my mother’s help, thank you.” I opened the fridge, taking out a bottled water.

  “Oh, so you heard I bo
ught a house here?” Jamie was surprised that people still talked about him.

  “What? Who hasn’t heard about you moving back here next year? Everyone knows you signed a contract with the Ravens, Jamie. Why you picked them out of all the teams who wanted you, only your heart knows that, right?” I walked over to him.

  Jamie just looked at me as I came over and sat on the sofa next to him. “Let me ask you somethin’. You been with Aaron since you were sixteen, going on three years now, and y’all not living together? I don’t see shit in this apartment that belongs to your boy. No jacket, no shoes, no pictures. Where is the love, shorty?”

  I looked around my apartment. He was right. Nothing about my apartment said that I even had a boyfriend. Everything around my apartment centered on dancing or cheerleading. I had a china cabinet full of trophies from dance and cheerleading competitions. I had pictures of my sorority and dance team all over the wall. You knew that I loved dance by coming into my apartment, but nothing about my apartment said that I loved Aaron. Aaron didn’t so much as have a toothbrush at my apartment. At least Aaron did have a picture of me sitting on the table next to his nightstand. Come to think of it, I can’t even really count that picture, because he probably only cherished it because it was a picture that I’d taken with Ne’Vaeh.

  I opened the bottle and took a long sip.

  Jamie looked at me as I licked the water from my lips and screwed the top back on the bottle. “Dude has no idea that you love him, shorty. He went to Ne’Vaeh looking for the love that you never showed him. I’ve been with shorty. She knows how to love. She loved me, and I was too afraid to accept it.” Jamie’s mind wandered for a few minutes. He was mad at the situation, the same way that I was.

  I looked at him. “Sounds like tonight has you feelin’ some type of way too, Jamie. How did you feel when you saw them dancing together?”

  He looked at me. “It—” he hesitated as his words faltered. “It made me really miss her. And I’m not even the type to tell someone that I miss them.”