It's Wrong for Me to Love You Read online

  I just looked at him. “I’m coming back to my senses, Jamie. I’m flushing Aaron out of my system. You never have to worry about anything ever happening with him again. I came here with you, Jamie, nobody else.”

  “I couldn’t let your hand go today at the funeral. I thought my heart was gonna stop when I saw my dad lying there in the casket. I needed your support. You saw my mama didn’t give a fuck about me. She probably only came to the funeral to actually make sure Pops was really dead.” Jamie tossed his tie on the bed.

  I shook my head. “Jamie, I’m so sorry about all of this.” I approached him, looking up into his face. “I wasn’t entirely truthful the other night when you asked me what your father said to me.”

  He looked at me. “What do you mean?”

  “He—” I laughed to myself nervously, “he told me to marry you.”

  Jamie’s eyes glistened. “He did? He told us to get married?”

  I nodded, wiping my tears, “Yeah,” I grabbed my purse off of the bed, “but I told him that you weren’t ready. He seems to think that I can make you ready.”

  “Ne’Vaeh . . .” He reached for me because he knew I was seconds away from leaving the room.

  I pulled away from him. “What, Jamie? What do you have to say about that?”

  “Baby, you know you can make me ready.” He looked at me earnestly. “Shit, I’m already ready.”

  I shook my head. “No, you’re not ready for me. The only thing you’re ready for is a different freak every night. I don’t think you had sex with the same girl twice these past few days, Jamie! That’s the lifestyle you’re used to! One girl could never satisfy you!”

  Jamie shook his head, “Nah, you have it all wrong. It takes all those girls just to satisfy my craving for you, shorty.” He held my hands in his. “Ne’Vaeh, you know I don’t care about any of them girls.”

  “Jamie, you’re not thinking clearly. You just lost your dad. That feeling has you ready to settle down. This isn’t how you really feel, Jamie!” I cried.

  “Baby, I wanna be with you.” His eyes watered.

  I shook my head. “No, Jamie! We’re not doing this again! We need to move forward, not backward! It’s too late to start over!”

  “Why is it too late? Don’t you still love me?” He paused a moment. “You used to love me.”

  I cried aloud as he pulled me closer. I couldn’t escape his kiss, or maybe I didn’t even resist. His lips embraced mine for a few seconds before I pulled away, backing away from him. “Jamie, no! Not again!” I cried. “Please don’t do this to my heart!”

  Tears slid down his face. He pulled my body up against his again and gently kissed my lips again. “I miss you. I need you. I still love you. I never stopped loving you, Ne’Vaeh. Please, give me you. Please,” he whispered.

  I sighed as he kissed me repeatedly. The next thing I knew, he was unbuttoning his shirt and I was unzipping my dress. In seconds, it seems, we were completely naked on top of the bed, kissing, touching, rubbing, and sucking.

  “Fuck, I missed this!” he cried out, sucking on my neck, yanking on my hair. He held my body oh so tight against his. “I just wanna hold you for a few minutes, please.” He tried to calm himself.

  I held on to him, crying on his shoulder. His dick was throbbing between my legs, rubbing against my clit. He felt so good, he smelled so good, and to my surprise, I missed him too.

  “Jamie, I missed you too. I missed you so much,” I whispered.

  He looked into my face, tears sliding down his cheeks.

  I nodded. “I did.” I cried. “You just—you just hurt me, so I wanted to forget you.”

  Jamie ran his fingers through my hair. “I’m here, Ne’Vaeh. I won’t leave you again, I promise.” He gently kissed my lips.

  I took in a deep breath between kisses as Jamie held my thighs and dug his way inside of me. I cried out as he began to stroke, biting down on my neck. My pussy was a little tense. She tightened around his dick, and he dug into it.

  “This is my pussy, Ne’Vaeh,” Jamie moaned with a fistful of my hair. “Say it’s mine, shorty.”

  I cried, shaking my head.

  He dug deeper, pulling my hair tighter. “Say it, shorty. Tell me this is my pussy.”

  I cried out, digging my nails into his back.

  He dug his nails into my thighs. He stroked my pussy until she started to fart, squirt, and whistle. Even though my mouth wasn’t telling him the pussy was his, my pussy was telling him, “I’m all yours.”

  “Oh!” I cried out, as my pussy tightened.

  Jamie looked down into my face, and he stopped pumping.

  I looked into his face, chest heaving in and out. I wanted to come, and he wouldn’t let me until I gave myself to him. “Jamie, please,” I cried, “Don’t stop. Keep going.”

  He shook his head. “Is it mine?” He pulled out of me. “Baby, tell me it’s mine. What do I gotta do to make you mine?” He got up from the bed, pulling me up with him. He held my face in his hands, gently kissing my lips.

  My body was on fire. He wasn’t playing fair. I shook my head. “Please. I gotta release this tension that you just built up inside of me, Jamie!” I cried.

  He turned my body around, pressing my back down so that my chest rested on the bed and my ass was in the air. Again, he grabbed a handful of hair and gripped my ass with the other hand. He thrust his way inside of me as he pulled my hair. “Are you gonna tell me it’s mine?” he said as he started to stroke.

  My lips trembled. I couldn’t even talk. Tears slid down my face as Jamie worked my soul from the inside out. He worked my body until my legs gave out. My knees buckled, and my body fell to the bed. He still didn’t stop. He sucked on my neck, running his fingers through my hair, gripping my hips as he dug through me.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. He owned it. I squealed out his name as he sucked on my ear. “Jamie, it’s yours!” I cried, biting the pillow.

  “It’s mine?” He pumped a little deeper, stronger, and faster. “It’s really mine? You sure about that? Then throw it back, ma.”

  “Just take it,” I cried, propping up on my elbows a little as I worked my hips and ass, throwing it back on him a little, matching my thrusts with his.

  “I’m taking it.” He bit down on my neck, gripping my hips.

  I gripped the sheets in my hands as Jamie hit all types the spots. He gripped my pussy in his hand, pumping in and out, causing her to make all types of sounds. He growled in my ear and after about a good ten or fifteen minutes, his body trembled as he exploded inside of me. Then, all of his weight rested on top of me as I fell back down on the bed. It was a quickie, but it felt so fuckin’ good, so good that I burst out crying.

  I buried my face in the pillow. “Oh my goodness. What am I thinking?”

  Jamie pulled his body from mine, lying beside me on the bed. “Shorty, look at me.”

  I shook my head, tears saturating the pillow. “No.”

  He slid his hand over my waist, pulling my body closer to his.

  I felt so good in his arms. I turned to him, drying my face. “What did we just do? What does this mean?”

  He just looked at me.

  “Does this mean we’re back together?” I whispered.

  “It’s your call,” Jamie whispered back.

  I shook my head. “I hate answers like that.”

  He laughed a little. “Shorty, I already told you that if you wanted me, I was all yours.”

  “Jamie, you got too many hoes.” My eyes searched his face.

  Jamie nodded. “True.”

  Tears slid down my face. “I swear, I never intended on sleeping with Aaron. Charlie has been my best friend since I was six years old, and over some guy, our friendship is over! I never meant to hurt her. I just needed love. I haven’t felt love in so long. I thought I’d never see you again. When Aaron told me he loved me, I believed it. I made a horrible mistake that cost me the best friend that I ever had.”

  Jamie said, “Shorty, wh
en I left Maryland, I was on a mission. I was gonna do something great. I was gonna have something to show for leaving the best friend that I ever had. You know the shit I’ve been through in my family. I was the only one out of twelve kids who was given up at birth. I was tossed around from house to house all my life. I was forced to do all types of shit when I stayed with my mom during the summer. No food to eat, nothing to drink, abused, misused . . . Nobody understood. I worked my ass off to make a career out of football. When my father found me, he invested so much money in my career to make sure that I achieved greatness. He did a lot for me to make sure that I never had to ask my mother for anything again.” Jamie’s eyes glistened. “I tried talking to her today, and she wouldn’t even look at me. She always told me that I wasn’t gonna be shit. And now that I am something, she won’t even allow herself to be proud of me.”

  Tears slid down my face. I felt his pain.

  Jamie’s eyes searched mine. “Because of her, I have trust issues. I have relationship issues. I have a hard time trusting a woman. I haven’t showed any woman any love for some years. I swear. I have had sex with at least ten girls a week for the past four years. I’m not gonna lie, Ne’Vaeh, I have done some wild shit. I have lived my life to the fullest. I may have overcompensated for the love I didn’t have from my mom and for the pain of leaving you behind. I will admit, I have done wrong. Trust me. I don’t mind giving up the hoes. I’m not gonna say that they will never confront you, because you know how bitches are these days. But I will say that I told each and every one how it was from jump—I told them before we had sex that if they were looking for love, they could leave.”

  I shook my head, pushing my hair from my face. “I have been through so much shit, Jamie. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I need love, and I’m not even sure that you know how to give it to me anymore. You say you can give up all that pussy, but I’m not too sure that you can, and I’m not gonna force you either, Jamie. You have to show me that I’m the only one, and maybe, then, I can give this a shot. I can’t go through any more pain, Jamie. And I already know that fuckin’ around with you is gonna have me insane.”

  Jamie’s eyes traced my lips. “I’m not here to hurt you. Hopefully, I can heal some of those wounds that I caused.”

  “I’m not sure if I’m ready to be your one and only, Jamie. I’m not even sure that I wanna feel weak again. You make my heart weak. You always had me wide open, ready to do whatever for you. I don’t wanna be sprung, doing shit that I would never do. I’m not over the pain yet, Jamie. I haven’t healed well enough to forgive you, and I can’t forgive myself for allowing my emotions to get the best of me. I was drunk the entire time that I was sleeping with that boy! I knew what I was doing was wrong! I should have never let him touch me! What was I thinking?” I cried.

  Jamie gently kissed my lips. “We all have made mistakes. I’ve done shit that I’m not proud of too, Ne’Vaeh, so don’t think you’re the only one who has some cleaning up to do.” He held my face in his hands, pressing his lips against my forehead. “I know you have been through a lot, shorty. I’m here. The storm is over.”

  I shook my head. “It’s not over—it just started, Jamie.”

  He shook his head back at me. “I got my baby back. I swear, I’m never letting go. It’s you and me forever, baby. It may be raining a little, but the worst is over. I’ll dance in the rain with you, shorty. A little rain never hurt anybody.”